


Dirt-Faced Damsels And Adequate Customer Service

by CuriousKurona



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Gen, Kind of..., M/M, Other characters implied, Trans Male Character, a bit of language, kiyoko is the medic btw, the f bomb is dropped if tht bothers u
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:06:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4095112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousKurona/pseuds/CuriousKurona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tsukki is smooth (except when he isnt)</p>
<p>yamaguchi's friends are embarrassing</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirt-Faced Damsels And Adequate Customer Service

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's back with more tsukkiyama!!!~
> 
> its kind of short, i mean it felt long when i was writing it but then i typed it up and i was like oh... but yeah, i wanna write longer stuff one day, maybe even a multi chapter fic!!! i have more time now that school's out, so thats a possibility...
> 
> ... *eyes the [oiyama fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864754) im supposed to be writing a part two for* anyways!
> 
> ive been to renaissance festivals before, but i havent actually worked at one, so forgive me for any inaccuracies... 
> 
> enjoy~~~ *rolls away*

Tsukishima Kei was not a happy camper. He only took this stupid job as a knight (for the medieval festival that was in town) because his friend Kuroo bet he couldn’t keep with it until the festival finally left town. Well, Tsukishima thought, it couldn’t have been that bad. He got paid for pretty much just standing around giving people directions while staying in character, there was free food for the employees in the sort of ‘employee lounge’ set up between two trucks in the back, and he could finally put an end to all the annoying jabs his friends made about his irritability, and general lack of skills needed for adequate customer service. Pretty sweet deal, right?

Wrong.

The costume was hot (and made him chafe), the festival goers were way more clueless than he originally gave them credit for, it was _loud_ , and it was _crowded_ , and while the food was, admittedly, a pretty sweet perk, it was nowhere near worth it. The pay wasn’t even that good, either. He regretted his decision immensely.  
But, he wasn’t going to give up. Everyone knew that he was an irritable, blithe, apathetic smart ass with little to no motivation, and no shits to give. And while that may have been true, to a certain extent, just this once, he wanted to prove them wrong.

That, and there was no way in hell he was giving Kuroo his desserts for a month. As a college student (an, as previously mentioned, disgruntled one at that), his strawberry shortcakes were the only things keeping him sane at that point, and were most of his incentive when accepting Kuroo’s challenge.

After what felt like years of pointing people to the restrooms (excuse me, _chamber pots_ ), and dealing with kids who tried to take his sword, his smile became more and more strained, as was his ability to breathe in his suffocating costume. It was time to clock out. He could definitely feel a rash coming on from the stupid thing, and he wasn’t supposed to wear his binder for such a long time, anyways.

He started making his way to the changing trucks, so he could change, go home, shower, and engage in sweet _sweet_ sleep, when something caught his eye.  


There seemed to be a commotion going on behind a vendor’s tent, involving four individuals. The vendor, talking to some customers a few feet in front of her tent, seemed completely oblivious to what was going on, so he resigned himself to dealing with it, mourning the loss of time spent resting as he marched over there.

As he got closer, he could make out that the four individuals were boys, around his age, and that one of them was on the ground, the other towering over him. One had a camera.

“go on, eat it!”

“yeah, eat it!”

One of the boys got on top of the one on the ground, and ground his face into the dirt.

“come on, eat it! Eat it, like a fucking dog!”

The three boys snickered and cackled, while the one on the ground struggled to get away. His tears were wetting the dirt beneath him, making his face all muddy. He almost got away, lanky and wry enough to dash out from underneath the arch his attacker’s elbow was making. They caught him by the collar, though, and swung him back by his cowlick, throwing him to the ground.

The boy with the camera got closer, closing in on the victim's face.

“bark! Bark for us!”

One of the others kicked him, more like a harsh nudge.

“yeah, woof woof!”

They pulled his hair again so he was facing the camera. His lips were trembling, as was the rest of him, and he honestly looked so distressed and panicked, that Tsukishima thought the poor kid might throw up.

Up until that point, Tsukishima had been frozen to the spot, left foot still hovering over the ground mid step. He was shocked, to say the least, expecting a group of rowdy teenagers making a YouTube video, or taking advantage of the cheap ale, not this. He was unsure of what action to take.

But when he looked down at the plastic sword in his hand, he knew what he had to do.

“dogs don’t actually eat dirt, you know”

All four heads snapped towards him. 

Putting himself in between the boy on the ground and the three tormentors, he (a bit awkwardly - he didn’t actually know how to use the thing) raised his sword. The boys eyed him warily, squinting their eyes and cocking their heads.

“whatever, man”

“yeah, whats it to ya?”

He took a deep breath.

“As a knight, I am honor bound to protect those in need, and vanquish those with impure hearts” he bit out monotonously.

He was really glad that he had kept his helmet on, because that was the cheesiest, stupidest fucking thing he’s ever said, and his face was on fire, lips scrunched up in discomfort and embarrassment. But, the boy on the ground was looking up at him in awe, eyes sparkling, like he really was some kind of fairy tale hero, so he supposed it was fine. 

The other three, however, were not so impressed. They clutched their sides, doubling over with amusement, laughter ringing out into the air.

“oh my god, _really_ man?”

“are you serious?”

The boy with the camera tuned the lens to him. 

“a knight, huh? You look more like a clown to me”

Tsukishima’s eye twitched.

“a clown that can have you in hot water with the constable. I’m sure your parents would just love to get a phone call saying that their little angels were kicked out, maybe even arrested, for harassment and disturbing the peace.”

That sure did the trick.

“h-hey man, woah! Take it easy!”

“yeah, chill!”

“whatever, we were getting tired of this anyways”

Tsukishima slid out in front of their path as they tried to leave, long limbs swiftly stopping them in their tracks. He held out his hand.

“camera”

The boy with the camera looked like he wanted to protest, but the other two nudged him, and he begrudgingly handed it over.

Tsukishima deleted the video they had taken of the boy on the ground, and tossed it back to the group.  
As soon as they had it back, they high tailed it out of the festival, grumbling the whole way.

Tsukishima watched them go until they were out of sight, and then turned his attention back to the boy on the ground. He was still being stared at, with even bigger, sparklier eyes.

He offered his hand.

The boy took it gratefully, scrambling to get up, but winced when he put pressure on his left ankle.  
He had done plenty of embarrassing things that day anyways, so he figured he might as well help the kid - whats one more to the list ?- and picked him up princess style.

“I’ll take you to the infirmary, all right? It’s just over there, c’mon” he gestured to his right with a tilt of his head. 

The boy in his arms just sputtered, flustered, and wrapped his arms around Tsukishima’s neck so he wouldn’t fall.

“so, may I know the name of my damsel in distress?” he teased, laying the boy down on a cot.

“Y-Yamaguchi, Yamaguchi Tadashi!” he yelped. “Im really sorry about that, about back there, I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble-” he was cut off by a cold wet rag against his cheek.

“don’t worry about it, it’s my job”

Yamaguchi looked down at his lap and fidgeted, while Tsukishima continued to clean the mud and dirt off of Yamaguchi’s face. After a minute of rubbing gently, he paused, looking at Yamaguchi’s face in confusion. He continued rubbing, a little harder, then stopped again, mouth hanging slightly open as a soft “wuh…?” slipped between his lips.

“um, that’s just my face, sorry…”

Tsukishima felt like slapping himself. 

“oh…”

He leaned to the side and picked up a box of band aids

“…they look cute” he wanted to punch himself

Yamaguchi touched his cheek, and looked up at him with wide doe eyes (one of them a bit bruised)

“you think so?”

Tsukishima ripped open the box of band aids so hard that they flew everywhere, and he scrambled to pick them up.

“y-yeah”

Yamaguchi just laughed at him, and Tsukishima indignantly stuck more band aids on his face than were needed, even two on his mouth. A lot of them just fell off, and Yamaguchi just laughed harder, both of them erupting into giggles and snickers by the time the medic came in to wrap up Yamaguchi’s foot. When she was done, Tsukishima escorted him out into the parking lot where his friends, having been called and notified of the situation, were waiting in the car.

The short loud one with a blonde streak in his hair started whooping and wolf whistling when he saw Yamaguchi being carried princess style by Tsukishima, still in costume (without his helmet time, as it had been taken off around 20 minutes prior. He needed to breathe). Soon the others in the car joined in as well.  
Yamaguchi covered his face with his hands and rose his shoulders to his ears

“im so sorry about … them”

“it’s cool” Tsukishima said, as he lay Yamaguchi down in the back seat next to an orange - haired elementary school kid.

Tsukishima pulled away, but Yamaguchi’s arms didn’t leave his neck, jerking him back. His aim was to just keep Tsukishima from leaving, but they had ended up with their faces so close, Yamaguchi could count every one of Tsukishima’s eyelashes, and Tsukishima could do the same to Yamaguchi’s freckles. Yamaguchi could feel each puff of shallow breath Tsukishima took, and Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi's pulse quicken through the freckled arms still hooked around him, unconsciously pulling him closer.

The car was suddenly very quiet

Even the bald one and the blonde streaked one, previously cackling and ‘ooh la la~’ – ing, held their breaths. Everyone, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi included, froze.  
In a burst of confidence, Yamaguchi resisted the urge to shy away and put some distance between them, instead holding on a bit tighter. There was something he’d been wanting to ask…

“don’t I get to know the name of my knight in shining armor?”

Spell broken, Tsukishima smiled (smirked).

“Tsukishima Kei, at your service” he handed Yamaguchi his staff card, that included his name, his occupation (whether he was in kitchen or stage or what), and… his phone number.

He could hear the roar that erupted from the car as soon as Yamaguchi closed the door with a wave goodbye, and even still as they drove away. He chuckled despite himself – what a rowdy bunch. Usually he’d scoff at them, but he was in a decidedly good mood. He didn’t even mourn the loss of his staff card, as it was the last day of the festival anyways, and he didn’t need it to get in the changing truck if he was already in costume.

When he got home, he showered, changed into a baggy t-shirt and shorts, and put his phone to charge. 

He was expecting a call.

**Author's Note:**

> *rolls back in* i hope you enjoyed !!!~ i wrote it down on paper a few days ago, and now ive finally typed it up!~ i dont know what possessed me to write this, but for some reason i was in dire need of medieval (festival) AU tsukkiyama...
> 
> also, i hope i got the html coding right, i think my italicized words will show up this time...
> 
> (oh, and dont mind tht note in the beginning abt my oiyama fic, im writing it its just not done yet and i got distracted with this one... it will be finished!!!)
> 
> enjoy my OOC tsukki and cute ( as always ) yama
> 
> Be Good, Stay Cute, I Love You!!!~


End file.
